Working Together

Relationship is at the heart of my work, and I bring empathy and compassion, aiming to provide you with a space that feels safe so that you can be yourself and tell your story.

Sometimes when we experience difficulty and challenge in our lives, that feeling of safe connection, or attachment, to those around us can feel lost. Among other things, we might feel depressed or anxious, people please, develop compulsive behaviours, or struggle with addiction. Often, we start to function in survival mode and this can show up in fight, flight or freeze responses in our mind and body.

 

I am an integrative counsellor, which means that I use a few different approaches and theories in my work and might use different approaches with different clients, working out what might best support you as a unique individual. I believe that counselling should be an exploration of ideas and an ongoing conversation between us. Some of the key approaches that I draw from are attachment theory (which informs a lot of how we relate to others and them to us), Polyvagal Theory (which gives us and understanding of how our mind and body responds to stress and trauma), and parts work; I work in an Internal Family Systems informed way looking at how parts of our system play different roles, often seeking to protect us from painful experience (this enables us to explore the role of ‘parts’ that may seem destructive or damaging for example, addiction). I also use some Existential and Gestalt theory, the core conditions of the person centred approach, and some CBT techniques and motivational interviewing when appropriate.

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In the beginning, the focus will be on building our relationship - like any new connection, it takes time to establish trust and to get to know each other. We can start to explore what has brought you to counselling and focus on what you would like to be different, or to have more of in your life, and to look at how change might take place. A lot of my role is to be an ‘active listener’ which means that you will do most of the talking, but at times, I will ask questions to encourage perhaps a deeper consideration of a topic, or I might gently challenge something that you say. All of this is done with the goal of empowering you in the knowledge and understanding that you already have within you - you are the expert on you. Sometimes, where appropriate, I might suggest tools or resources that I think might be helpful to you.